To kick off Blarneymum Meets, I chat with Shaun Venter who works full time taking care of his son Grayson. Originally from New Zealand, Shaun shares his insight into life at home with an energetic 10 month old….

Thank you for doing this interview Shaun. Introduce yourself and tell us about your family.
I’m from NZ, 36 years old, married to Vicki for nearly three years. We have one little boy, Grayson who’s nearly ten months old and we have another baby on the way later this year. I gave up work as a chef to look after Grayson when he was a month old when Vicki went back to work.

What is a typical day like for your and your son?
Grayson wakes between 6 and 7 usually. We have breakfast and play until his nap at 9am which usually lasts for about twenty minutes. In the mornings we do whatever is needed – grocery shopping, housework etc. At the moment the weather is so nice we head to a park or down to the beach when we can. Lunch is around 12; he may or may not have an afternoon nap, if he does it’s usually about half an hour, not much longer. Then it’s more activities or outings until dinner at 5 and bed at 7.30 or so. If Grayson dozes off during the afternoon in the car or somewhere then bedtime is a bit later. He still wakes for a feed during the night. We’re trying to get out of that habit at the moment!

How has becoming a parent changed you?
I just asked Vicki and she said it hasn’t 🙂 – I suppose like everyone I’m more sympathetic or understanding towards other parents. I’m more tired as well. That’s all really I think.

Did you find it hard to transition from corporate life to the life of a full time dad?
We had always agreed that I would stay at home when we had kids so I was looking forward to it. I wasn’t enjoying work at the time I left which probably made it easier. I was hoping there’d be a bit more time for afternoon sleeps on the the couch though! It’s a lot more intense than I had imagined it would be. Ten minutes to yourself when you’re a parent is worth five hours to yourself before kids!

Can being a full time dad in Cork be isolating?
I don’t think so. I suppose it depends on the person – it’s as isolating as you make it. I have friends I meet up with on certain days, family I visit on other days and Grayson and I do activities outside the house as well like swimming which breaks up the week.

What do you do to unwind and ‘de-baby’?
I play a bit of sport and have occasional nights out with friends. It’s always easier when there’s two of you around to share the work. Grayson is a very energetic baby – he never stops so it can be tiring looking after him one on one.

Do you ever suffer from the Daddy Guilts if you are away for a period of time?
Not really, I do miss him when I’m away for a night or whatever. I’s always nice to have a good nights sleep though!

We all have our support network as parents. Who is that one person that you couldn’t be without for parenting advice?
Vicki obviously, we figure most things out together. Her sister lives close by and has four kids so she is always there with advice. My sister lives in America but has a six month old and a three year old so she knows what we’re experiencing. Everyone has an opinion and their own way of doing things but I suppose you have to have confidence in your own knowledge and instincts as well.

Why do you think so many men are reluctant to stay at home to care for children in Ireland? Is it similar in New Zealand?
It’s pretty much the same in NZ as here – I don’t know why really, maybe they’ve heard how hard it is 🙂 I suppose it’s tradition for the mum to stay at home and maybe women don’t want to give it up! I’m really glad I’ve been able to do it. I wouldn’t change the decision to give up work.

And finally, what is the best advice that you have been given as a new dad?
Get them into a routine as early as you can! We didn’t and we really should have!