Sometimes, you just have to put your hands up and admit to your failings. In a world of perfectly angled selfies and near to perfection instapics, truth and transparency are now endangered qualities. I’m human. Behind the quips and funny posts on the blog is a real person. Many a fuck up have I made, many a side of me do I wish were different. Of course, we dont blog about our shortcomings. Afterall its hard to say “I’m wrong” or “I am sorry”.

But it is good to do it, so here goes.

As a special needs mother, I can be such a shitty friend to have. Making a play date with me is like trying to get an appointment to see the Queen. My diary is always full and can change at the drop of a hat.
Then of course there are the ‘extra considerations’. Like the playcentre that makes him freak out, the park with the river that he will run into, the place with too many people…we couldn’t be any less accomodating if we tried.

Want to invite us over? Sure. But who will be there? Is there anything that he can pull out or damage? Can that program not be on the TV as it upsets him? Is there somewhere for nappy changes? He might freak out and get upset and we might have to leave.

Then there is me. Who wants to be around someone who talks about autism so much? Or someone who moans a lot about dealing with it all? Or someone who’s problems always seem to trump yours?

I am the friend that always used to make the effort. If there was a party, I was there. I was a frequently tagged face on Facebook. But I have ‘gone off the radar’.

I am ‘that’ friend.

But I am also ‘the’ friend.

My circle may now be smaller, but those few who remain in it have shown me that they have no desire to leave it – no matter how busy I seem, or how tough I am to be around. For them, I am ‘the frie nd’ that will have your back no matter what. You might not see me for weeks, but when you do – nothing has changed. We might Whatsapp more than we meet, Messenger more than we like but you are still so important to me.

I am sorry for being a shitty friend, but I am not sorry for the friends that have stuck out the shitty with me.

My friends to me are family – I use no distinction between the two.

How lucky am I to have such wonderful people in my life?

Very. 😊

If you can do one thing after reading my blog, make it this – let that friend know just how much you appreciate them.

Tag them. Text them. Buzz them. Whatever!

Tomorrow is too late  – do it now.

The smallest thanks is always worth more than the effort it takes to give it. 💖

Trish xx